The Da Vinci Code
I’ve been missing cinema, so at the first opportunity I went to see a movie when I got to London this afternoon. It could only be one film, really: The Da Vinci Code.
It was shit. I’m not going to beat around the shrubbery. Really very poor.
OK yes, the pretty dark haired girl who plays the lead is every man’s fantasy of a pretty young wife and the dialogue wasn’t terrible, but the cinematic storytelling left a lot to be desired and the action was as stilted and unconvincing as the original book was badly written.
So why all the hype about the Da Vinci Code if it’s so bad? It’s all about the concept. Christ had a bloodline and we’ve been lied to by rich, powerful men for 2000 years. Yeh wotever. Smacks more to me of some dirty hack thinking to himself…..
“I need to write a book to make some cash. What can I write about? I know! What’s the greatest story ever told? Jesus Christ! How can I spin something off the back off that? I guess I could find a couple of academic numpties, nick their ideas and shoe-horn them into a generic thriller format, but no one would be so stupid as to fall for something so transparently pony?”
But we are that stupid. We’ve bought that tripe hook, line and sinker. Yes it’s an intriguing story, but one which is told best in a pub after 3 pints. It’s about on a par with the Marlboro packet design containing a reference to the Klu Klux Klan, and the American dollar being covered in Masonic imagery. Five minutes and I’ve got it, I’m bored and I’ve moved on. Even if you add a psycho, self-flagellating albino monk. I’m still not buying it.
So to sum up, Dan Brown is a proper James Blunt and my only regret is that even by writing this blog entry I add fuel to the dirty shameful fire of publicity around this travesty of storytelling.
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Yeah I heard it was bobbins. Ah well.
I haven’t read the book either.